Navigating Birth Decisions Without Succumbing to Peer Pressure
I recently listened to Nancy Wilson’s podcast on peer pressure, and although she wasn’t specifically talking about birth, her thoughts on it struck a chord with me in relation to how we approach pregnancy and childbirth. In her podcast, Nancy emphasized the importance of resisting peer pressure as parents and being intentional in how we model standing firm in our decisions for our children. It got me thinking about the way peer pressure impacts the choices we make as parents, especially when it comes to something as personal as how we bring our children into the world.
The Pressure of Birth Choices
In today’s world, there’s a lot of pressure surrounding birth choices. The pressure itself is not inherently bad. There can be godly peer pressure, as Nancy points out, but also ungodly peer pressure. The problem arises when we feel compelled to make decisions based not on wisdom or prayer, but on what others around us are doing or what seems to be the “right” or “popular” choice.
Birth and pregnancy are deeply personal, emotional experiences. For many women, pregnancy is a vulnerable time of laying down your body to serve your child as an act of sacrifice and trust in God’s design. I’ve had the privilege of experiencing this nine times, and I can honestly say that I’ve never “mastered” pregnancy or birth. With each pregnancy, I learn something new. It’s a humbling process of growth and sanctification every single time. I think it always will be. God uses it to grow us as mothers.
Peer Pressure in Birth Choices
When it comes to birth, it’s easy to feel like you have to do what everyone else is doing. It’s new and can be a scary thing at times. Maybe all your friends are opting for a home birth, or perhaps the pressure to have a hospital birth feels like the “normal” thing to do. Some might even feel like they have to “prove” something by having a natural birth, while others might feel the opposite pressure to avoid the pain at all costs. The truth is, this pressure can be dangerous if it leads us to make decisions based on what others are doing, rather than what is truly best for our own families.
I’ve seen firsthand how many people approach birth decisions simply by following the crowd—choosing a home birth because it’s trendy, or opting for a hospital birth because it’s “normal” or even perceived as being safer, without actually considering other available options or potential negative impacts of birthing within this model. There’s a risk in just going along with the crowd, no matter what direction that is, without giving thoughtful consideration to what is best for your health, your baby, and your family.
As parents, we are responsible for leading, nurturing, and caring for our children, starting even before birth. We must take that responsibility seriously, which means not only weighing out options but also prayerfully considering them, seeking counsel, and making the most informed decisions possible.
The Importance of Prayerful Decision-Making
So how do we know where to start when it comes to making these big decisions? First, we need to recognize God’s original plan and how birth was designed to work by Him. He created a beautiful and intricate flow of hormones working in a complex and harmonious way to initiate and complete the process of labor and birth. It takes intentionality to learn about how a woman’s body was designed to function, but taking the steps to become educated in this area helps to lay a solid foundation for decision-making going forward. It makes it possible to spot problems and issues when they arise when things aren’t progressing normally. We know the possibility of things going wrong exists because we live in a fallen world. Learning about this process helps us to identify when we may need interventions.
As we walk through pregnancy, we need to be evaluating and taking action along the way. We are told in God’s Word that if anyone lacks wisdom to let him ask God who gives generously to all (James 1:5). We should desire to make informed, prayerful choices that align with what the Lord leads us to do. There is no right way to give birth, and there is no “perfect” method. Birth is a deeply personal experience, and every family must look to the Lord and ask Him what is best for them based on their individual circumstances.
Learning From Others Without Succumbing to Peer Pressure
While it’s important to avoid blindly following trends, there is value in learning from others. We can gain insight into our own situations when we ask others why they made certain choices, what worked for them, and how they navigated challenges. Listening to the experiences of others can help us make informed decisions—but we must always filter those experiences through prayer and our own unique situations.
Don’t let peer pressure dictate your choices. Make decisions that are rooted in prayer, understanding, and wisdom, and trust that God will guide you. You don’t have to follow the crowd. You simply need to follow Him.