The time came when the Lord gave us a desire to add another blessing to our little family unit. Just a short time later, we found out that we were given what we longed for. We were overjoyed and started to make preparations. We had an almost 2 yr old daughter and had previously experienced a wonderful labor and deliver at our small local hospital. However, since the time of her birth we had moved to the outskirts of a more metropolitan area and lived about 30 minutes from the nearest hospital. After much research and learning of the many benefits of having a home birth, I wanted to experience that for myself!
I wanted to be with my family, I wanted to be in the comfort of my own home, and I wanted to bring our little one into this world in the most tranquil way that I possibly could. And because I had already experienced the ways laboring in a jacuzzi helped me with my daughter, I wanted to try to have a water birth. I was so excited.
We prayed for the Lord’s direction in choosing a midwife and purchasing the supplies we needed. Everything was coming together nicely and I was experiencing a really good pregnancy. Nothing seemed to be of concern. Time seemed to pass quickly and the nearer the due date came, the more excited our family was!
The birth pool was ready to use, all supplies were bought, and the little corner of our coming son’s bedroom was all set up! We were ready to welcome Titus Hezekiah into this world!
At almost 38 weeks, I started to experience some severe side pain. This was Sunday afternoon. Not really thinking of it as something serious, I jokingly sent a text message to my midwife asking if this could have anything to do with contractions or if that was just wishful thinking. She asked if I was having any other symptoms such as headaches, vomiting, etc. I had suffered a severe headache the morning before and had a bit of dry heaving. Her reply actually surprised me as it expressed great concern. She strongly encouraged me to check myself into the ER to rule out preeclampsia.
She wanted to be sure these weren’t early signs as the pain was on my right side and I had 2 high blood pressure reads just a few weeks earlier. We immediately went to the ER but were released after labs showed that my levels were “normal”. I was happy thinking we were back to our original plan of a home birth. However, my midwife wanted me to have a 2nd opinion by an OBGYN as she felt I was now a “high risk” pregnancy for a home birth. It wasn’t until about Tuesday that I was finally able to find a referral office who was willing to see me as I was so late in my pregnancy (38 weeks). This process was very discouraging and overwhelming to me.
I was basically an emotional basket-case and felt so alone hearing rejections from OBGYN practitioners. Basically, no one wanted to take me on as a new patient. My mind was swirling with thoughts. I was worried. It was definitely a time of testing. Was my heart willing and ready to trust God? Was I surrendered to His will even if it meant that my plans of a home birth may not happen after all?
The referral office helps women who are considered high risk pregnancies. They encouraged me to once again check into the ER that evening as one of their doctors were on call at the hospital and I could be seen asap. I knew my husband would be home from work within the hour so I made arrangements for a baby sitter for our daughter and also quickly threw together a hospital bag not even knowing if I would be back home that evening or admitted to the hospital.
We checked into the hospital about 6:30 pm and more bloodwork was done. When the results came back, they found that my protein levels were very high and I was eventually diagnosed with preeclampsia. They felt it was best to induce me. I was moved to a labor and delivery room immediately and they started me on a low dose of Pitocin by 11:00 pm. Contractions that entire night were very minimal. Even though it would have been best to sleep that evening, I just couldn’t. I was geared up. My mind was racing. And even though things were not working out the way I had wished, I started to become overly excited that very soon I would be holding a baby, MY baby, in my arms!
I knew from the beginning that I didn’t want an epidural or medicinal drugs. I didn’t need them with my first delivery and I was just putting my trust in the Lord that I wouldn’t need them again. By 8am the next morning, Wednesday, they broke my water and that’s when it all started. Hard labor quickly came and lasted for about 5 hours. Since I and the baby needed to be monitored, I could not labor in the jacuzzi but in the bed on my knees. I think this made it more difficult for me but I just kept praying “Jesus help me”.
The well-known verse that kept coming to my mind throughout the latter part of my pregnancy was “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” and He certainly proved Himself faithful during this time giving me the endurance and strength I needed. Thankfully, I was surrounded by a great support staff. My kind and gracious husband was by my side supporting and encouraging me, my mom was there as an awesome cheerleader and servant to my needs, and my nurses certainly went above and beyond their call of duty.
I ended up pushing hard for about 40 minutes and finally after what seemed like an eternity, our precious sweet little Titus Hezekiah was born! How blessed we are with this precious little life! The delivery was harder, longer, and seemed more painful than with my first. I had 2nd degree tearing which I think was due to an earlier episiotomy and scar tissue. The recovery process is coming along but these days that I am forced to take it easy (which is totally against my internal wiring ha!) have proved to be wonderful opportunities to bond with my two littles and truly soak in the sweet blessing of being a mommy.
As I look back, I see God’s hand through it all. There were certain issues we had to deal with during delivery and I believe that being in the hospital was the best choice. Honestly, I think the delivery would have been so much more difficult and perhaps even longer if I was at home. So even though my birth story wasn’t what I had imagined it would be, it was the story God had written for us. It was a big lesson in faith and trust in Jesus and it was an opportunity to learn what it is to give thanks and find joy in all things, especially God’s will versus my own.
My heart is full of joy. My heart is thankful. And now my hands are full with the awesome privilege of being a family of four! Drools and kisses and poopy diapers are just signs that I have been blessed with two beautiful gifts from heaven and I wouldn’t want it any other way! God is good!